In Honor of Jacob Corbet

December 18, 1975--August 2, 2015





      

Family members Aunt Kathy, Uncle Pat, and cousins Becky, Bill, Jean and Brian attended the wonderful Memorial for Jake along with several of his friends.

      

On a mild overcast afternoon, a special group of people gathered to honor our lost friend, Jake Corbet. These were my words:

For those of you who don't know me, I'm Becky Hines, Jake's favorite cousin. More importantly, I was also honored to be one of his best friends.

Growing up, it's safe to say Jake had it rough. He endured more shit than any person should have to face. So it is a testament to his strength, his capacity for love and his core of goodness that he was able to assemble his own family, people who loved him unconditionally, people who made him laugh, people who deeply treasured all that he was. I cannot tell you how many times he started a story with “Vic and Laurie…..” usually followed by something hilarious. He loved you both so much and for good reason, he couldn’t have picked better people to live with, to laugh with, to create wonderful memories with.

As you know, Jake was an avid Bears fan. He could not believe I had converted into a Packers fan, something that only took Bill 10 years. It made for wonderful football seasons--it wasn't just smack talk between us, but a deep love of the game which always yielded a lively discussion. You know he was a true fan because he hated even his own players when they sucked, which of course was often. I loved watching games with him, we always appreciated a good play, no matter whose side it was on. The combination groan/eye roll was one of my favorite expressions, he always cracked me up with that. The Bears/Packers games will never be the same. I will always think of you, Jake, when Jay Cutler throws an interception, which is to say I will think of you often.

Jake was an amazing friend, but he wasn't always easy. You had to be patient, his Black Dog visits were rarely short. However, your patience and understanding of his dark days was rewarded with the friendship of one of the funniest and most caring people I have ever known. He was patient with me during my Black Dog visits, and he never judged. Ever. He always understood. He made it easy to pick up where we left off with no hard feelings. Jake held friendships and love, not grudges.

Jake's relationship with his mother was complicated, but his last conversation with her in March was filled with genuine love. I aspire to have as much compassion as he did. I was honored to help him through his mother's death, he knew I did it for him because I loved him so much.

I am thoroughly convinced that Patrick the charge nurse, who for some reason hates me, has drafted a memo to the officials at St. Mary's Hospital to consider keeping a few bouncers on call. You see, in his final days Jake was not alone for one minute unless the nurses kicked us out. Old friends reconnected, new friendships were born, and the group of Jake's Hobos did right by him: We talked to him, swapped stories with each other, swore like sailors, laughed way too loudly and told some of the raunchiest jokes I've ever heard. If you know me, you know how impossibly high that bar is. I am absolutely certain Jake would have had it no other way.

I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. Jake knew me like no one else, and he loved me anyway. He loved my family, loved hearing how silly we were, loved hearing about our adventures. Jake was a good listener in a way few people are; he heard your words, considered them, and considered the impact of his words on you. I could and did tell him anything, and I am a better person for having had the privilege of being so close to him.

My heart is broken. It is simply unacceptable that I am speaking about him in the past tense. I will never understand it. There is no one to blame, no one to lash out at, because from my point of view it is horribly unfair but plain and simple: Life's a bitch, and we were robbed.

I can't say "Goodbye" Jake and I certainly can't say "See you later." But what I can do is carry a piece of your goodness and your love in my very broken heart for the rest of my days. Just as I have loved you every day, I will miss you every day Cuz.

      
Mary's keychain collection was made available by Becky for us to take in remembrance of Jake and Mary

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